In light of Trump’s unceasing talk about annexing Canada I hear a rumour that our federal government is considering taking over the National Hockey League and running it in the public interest to make sure no Canadian can be deprived of NHL hockey.  To help protect the league from further Americanization the Commissioner will be our Governor-General who, to ensure she and her staff are up to speed on today’s game, will be sent on a fact-finding mission starting in the Caribbean.  To address any concerns about violence the number of referees and linesmen per game will be increased to six, one official for every two players.  The government believes that the seating arrangements in NHL arenas are unacceptable, declaring that we do not accept two-tier medicine in this country and we should not accept multi-tier seating in hockey arenas.  How this goal could be achieved is yet to be determined.  All NHL teams will be subject to federal guidelines for diversity, equity and inclusion.  The position of right wing will be abolished.  When asked about this the government said it is necessary to secure NDP backing for the Nationalization Bill in parliament.  The PM affirmed that our national game violates the principle of regional equality with Ontario and Alberta having two teams while other provinces have none.  Accordingly, the Toronto Maple Leafs will be moved to Halifax and the Edmonton Oilers to Saskatoon.  In order to secure the support of the Bloc Quebecois for the Nationalization measure the Montreal Canadiens will be exempt from the proposed reforms.  Now of course my tongue has been in my cheek here but if the world’s most powerful man can publicly spout nonsense why can’t little ‘ol me?